Well I had...

Well I had my daily binge/purge. I feel short of breath but at least I'm satiated. I don't quite know how I should go about this now. Should I restrict or should I binge/purge. I think what I'm going to end up doing is b/p on the weekends and on m, t, w, when I don't have a lot of time to sit around and think about food as it just restrict on those days. I have such a strong abhorrence to exercise though. I really don't want to make that part of what I'm doing, so that's why I'm going to stick to the restrict thing, because if I b/p everyday I'll probably consume somewhere between 600-1000 calories, and it messes with my emotions anyway. I am in the best fucking mood you can ever imagine right now. I'm so psyched that I'm going to go to school in Australia. I feel terrible that I can't tell my boyfriend, but I know that he'd just pull me down now, and I can't take that, I need to at least finish school before he pulls me down. It's going to be really hard on both of us, that's the part that he doesn't realize. I'm still so fucking excited though. Australia. Jeeez. There I'll probably have some friggin motivation to exercise...bathing suits, warm weather...good lord, I'm nutz. True, I'll be far away from home, but everyone will be, and it will be easier to deal with it that way. I did fine in Germany, and I know I'll be all right there too. Like my brother said, there's a time when everyone has to leave home, and this is my time. I'm far to dependent on what my parents think of me, and running to them for comfort when I feel that I fuck up, not to mention that my Dad depresses me because he doesn't mean to, but sometimes he makes me feel like my life is leading into a brick wall, like I'm doing nothing with it. Oh well, whatever the case. I'm so fucking psyched. Weeehaw!-weakerthanu