Not one of my ...

Not one of my best days, I've ate an entire 790 calories today, I feel disgusting, I pray that I can hold out the rest of the day without breaking down and eating even more, I have to exercise control over this, and I know that I can - it's all mental.For some reason I got the biggest food craving earlier and just plain had to eat, so I had three cups of sugarless jell-o, a few tablespoons of pudding, a roll with butter, and a cup of cereal. Mentally I think I'm doing ok, I had to boost it for today anyway, I had been eating so little for the past few days that I needed one strong day, I felt so exhausted this morning, and I think it's because I had under 500 cals for the past couple of days. I will run my stairs tonight though, I believe that one needs some form of exercise everyday.Tomorrow I'll roller blade over to work (if the day is as beautiful as it was today anyway) so that will give me a good workout.I don't really like my work, especially since I work around food, but it's only a few hours a week, and I get some money out of it, and that's what matters. I really want to take the motorcycle course when I get home this summer.God, I am so excited about this summer, like you wouldn't believe. I'll be working with friends, in my own home, having a daily routine. I'm also excited about next year. I'm going to apply to Smith, I think my mom is right (as usual) I think I'd really enjoy that school, and I can't always do what Matt wants me to, I have a life too, and I want to go to school there, so be it. I think what I'll do is apply now, see if I can defer possibly, stay on one more semester, and if I like it, if things change, than I will stay, however, if they don't, I'll be sure that i have a start on courses at Smith and that I can make a transition much easier.Ok, well writing this out made me feel a lot better about things.If I just occupy myself for the rest of the evening, do my nails, clean up a bit, I should be fine.